I think you get it. So I’m just going to jump right into this one. These are merely my opinions with some research of the opinions of professionals. If these opinions piss you off…well, I warned you in my very first blog post.
Depression =/= Having a bad day.
Everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. Who hasn’t woken up grumpy and annoyed and easily irritated by everything? I have days like that, just ask my husband. It’s fine, he has days like that, too. Compared to depression, it’s apples vs oranges. However, during times like these, a lot of people say, “I’m just feeling depressed today.” Um, no. No you aren’t. It’s so frustrating to hear someone who has no clue how dark, painful, and all-consuming depression is say that they are “depressed”. Actually, you are human. Welcome to life.
Depression =/= Unhappiness.
Depression is not an emotion. Being unhappy is. They are not synonymous. They are not interchangeable. Check your vocabulary and switch some shit around in your mind, because it’s really not cool to belittle a disease into an emotion.
Depression =/= Disappointment.
Oh, you’re depressed because Halloween is over and you looooooove Halloween and you have to wait a whole year to celebrate again? No. Oh, It’s just so depressing that your favorite football team lost in the playoffs? No. Things that suck are NOT depressing. Don’t throw around a term that represents deep pain, debilitating helplessness and hopelessness, ruined lives, and lost lives like it’s nothing. Finishing a book series you loved is not depressing. You might not mean it offensively, but it’s really insensitive. So stop it.
Depression =/= Going through something really rough (sort of).
This is going to be very extensive as it is much more complicated than any other topic. I’m going to try to tread lightly with this one, because situational depression (also called “reactive depression” or “adjustment disorder”) is very real and can be a dark place. I don’t intend to invalidate that in any way. Treading lightly is not an innate skill I was blessed with, to say the least, so this is me genuinely trying to state my opinion gently because I don’t want to sound unempathetic (which apparently is not a word but I’m going to stick it to the red squiggly line and use it anyway). So, with that said…situational depression, while very similar to clinical depression, is not the same. I’m sorry if that right there offends anyone, truly I am. But that’s…well, I won’t say it’s a fact because I can’t say that. But it is my opinion and the opinion of many psychiatrists and specialists. Yes, I have read articles on this topic, rather than just basing it off of my personal opinion alone. Situational depression can be debilitating, I do understand this. But they aren’t exactly alike. It’s not apples to oranges, but it’s not apples to apples either (holy shit I understand the name of the game now, did everyone else already know this?). Perhaps it’s grapes to raisins. You can decide which is which. There are some glaring differences between the two, and I will tackle each of them. As I said, this is a topic I’ve read a lot about, so this is not just 100% my opinion.
Suicidal thoughts:
Of course, someone suffering from situational depression can have suicidal thoughts. But they are typically felt or expressed when focusing on or somehow facing the situation. These thoughts can still be scary and should always be taken seriously; no matter what reason you have, if you think you might act on any suicidal thoughts, call 911 or go to the ER immediately. With that said, in the case of situational depression, the severity of suicidal thoughts is much lower than with clinical depression. Another significant difference between suicidal ideation in situational depression and clinical depression is typically the thoughts going into them. With situational depression, you might feel hopeless about a situation you can’t change, that a loss is too big to live with, or that you can’t live with the new change in your life. Clinical depression is very different in this sense. It’s a nasty monster in your head. It takes your biggest insecurity and attacks it. It tells you you are worthless, that the people around you wish you weren’t in their life, that your loved ones would genuinely be better off without you. It eats at you constantly. This is why suicidal thoughts are commonly passing (and scary) thoughts for someone suffering from situational depression, while for someone with clinical depression, it’s a much different story. I don’t know many depression statistics, but I do know that up to 50% of people with bipolar disorder attempt suicide.
Cause and the emotions that creates:
This one is much easier. Obviously, situational depression stems from a tragic, traumatic, or just straight up shitty event. Clinical depression stems from nothing, except your brain being an asshole. Situational depression is easier to look at, to face, and to handle in this sense. You know why you are depressed. If someone asked you what was up, you might say, “I’m just depressed,” but I’m sure that within five minutes of honest conversation you would spill out exactly what’s causing it. In the case of clinical depression, you’re just going through life, bebopping along, when BAM, depression pops up out of nowhere and punches you in the face. You’re knocked down and it doesn’t matter how badly you want to get up. Depression stands there with its foot on your head, looking down and taunting you, calling you terrible names and telling you awful things about yourself. With situational depression, you don’t want to do anything because you’re just too bloody depressed. With clinical depression, you want nothing more than to be able to do anything at all. Situational depression makes it extremely difficult to do the things you need to do; clinical depression can make it impossible. Which of course makes you feel even more like shit. It kills my pride as a mommy to have to have my mom come stay with me and take care of my kids and house. It absolutely kills me. But it wouldn’t be fair to my children if I didn’t accept the help that I so desperately need at times like that. The help that not all are blessed to have. Regardless, it straight up sucks.
Treatment:
No matter the reason, someone suffering from depression should speak to their doctor about it. The general rule is if it doesn’t let up in about two weeks, talk to your doctor. The typical treatments for situational depression are things like exercise, proper nutrition, sleep cycle regulation, and most commonly talk therapy. These things are also beneficial to someone suffering from clinical depression; however in most cases, medication is needed. For someone with bipolar disorder, it’s a million billion (roughly) times more complicated because our brains extra suck ass and antidepressants alone swing us way too far the other way. I’ve never met someone who was medicated for bipolar disorder and was only on one medication. I’m sure there are people on lithium alone, but I don’t know them. Even the people I know who are on lithium also take an antidepressant and/or an anti-anxiety medication. Point being, well, I don’t know. I guess I went a medication tangent. Sorry.
Length of feeling like shit time:
This is an easy one. Situational depression: Hang in there! Experts say that by six months at most, people suffering from situational depression should adjust to the new life circumstances and see that cloud finally lifting. Just be prepared that if you’ve suffered an episode of depression, there is a chance that depression will be an asshat and come back to visit the next time your life gets flipped upside down by an event, loss, or change. Clinical depression: Well, you hang in there, too! But who knows how the hell long you’ll be depressed, and when things start looking up, enjoy it because depression will come back at some point to bite you in the ass out of nowhere.
Well, I think that’s more than enough on that topic. Point is, situational depression and clinical depression both suck, but clinical depression is simply more severe.
Depression = Having the life sucked out of you.
This is a quote I saw on Facebook that is so incredibly accurate:
“Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern. Just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as any cancer. And like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience. A room in hell with only your name on the door.”
– Martha Manning, Undercurrents
I’ll leave you guys with that. Sorry I haven’t been posting very much. I am still struggling with depression but things are starting to look up a bit. But unfortunately life isn’t put on hold when I’m not capable of doing anything, so I am behind in many aspects of life right now. I’ll try to post more frequently, though. I always feel better after writing a post.
Also, I am attempting to pull together stories from friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers alike for a blog post. I want to have a post full of the stories of other people, and how mental illness has affected their life. So far I only have three stories. It can be about your own mental illness, or someone you love; parent, child, spouse, sibling, neighbor, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re willing to be open and share your story. I can post it anonymously or with your first name (and preferably age) whichever you prefer. I can also link to your blog/website if you’d like. Email me your story at hopeisreal124@gmail.com