Books on bipolar: Still a better love story than Twilight

In my last post, I stated that I was going to do a recovery plan and share it here. After looking around the internet, I decided to purchase a book to guide me through the creation of my recovery plan.

After debating between two books, I decided on a book called Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: A 4-Step Plan for You and Your Loved Ones to Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability. It was between that or The Bipolar Workbook: Tools for Controlling Your Mood Swings. After reading reviews, I decided the former was the best option for me. There are many other options, so if I don’t like it I’ll just try something new. I’ll update with a review after I read it. I also purchased the book The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide, Second Edition: What You and Your Family Need to Know.

While I’m on the topic of books, I’ll share a couple that I really liked. The first bipolar-related book I bought was Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder. Obviously, I did not purchase this book for myself. However, reading this book gave me a lot of clarity, at a rudimentary level. Reading the symptoms and explanations of bipolar disorder really hit me. Of course I had heard them all before, but reading about them in-depth opened my eyes. There were things that I thought were just aspects of my personality. Reading that book made it impossible for me to deny that I had bipolar disorder. Anyway, I think this book is excellent if your loved one(s) are having a hard time understanding your illness. I have the edition that I linked to, but there is a second edition available.

Another book that I absolutely loved is Welcome to the Jungle: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Bipolar but Were Too Freaked Out to Ask . I love this book. The author is so real and relatable. Not only will you learn about your disorder, but you’ll learn how to laugh at yourself, too. I can’t tell you how much I love this book.

Well, that’s it. Just wanted to update that my recovery plan won’t be posted as soon as I thought. I think working through a book will be much more effective than making something myself. I’ll share my thoughts on the books in about a week or so.

Edited to add:  If you have any book suggestions, please leave them in the comments below. I’m interested in any and all things related to mental illness and/or substance abuse.

Remember what we are fighting for.

Statistics can be staggering. They can open eyes and illustrate how many people are affected by mental illness. But, in my opinion, personal stories are so much more powerful. There are faces to these numbers. Every single one is person; a partner, a child, a sibling, a parent, a friend. Real people suffering every day.

I’d like to share a blog with you. First, I need to express why I find this particular blog to be so exceptional. It is run by the family of Mark Tisdale, who took his own life on October 8, 2013, on his 29th birthday. Yes, you read that right. His family suffered this tragic loss only one month ago, and created a site to share his story and join the cause of suicide prevention. How incredible is that? In the midst of such a recent, devastating loss, they are reaching out to others. It’s just phenomenal.

Here’s an excerpt from the post entitled “Remembering Mark”:

“Mark…was frightened by the fact that he was losing control of his mind. It was only during the last few months of his life that he struggled, due to this loss of inner control, to share his happiness with others. He spent a fair amount of time with us, his family – usually in intimate settings – and he became increasingly withdrawn from anyone outside of our inner circle. He was someone who didn’t want to bring his friends down (he was usually the one picking them up), and once he lost the ability to hide his pain from the world, that was it. He no longer resembled that magnetic spirit at which we’d marveled for so many years.

It was evident that something was wrong – we could see that – but we weren’t privy to all of Mark’s pain. We’re guessing much of his inner turmoil and confusion was locked up somewhere. He was someone riddled with shame and guilt. He often expressed frustration with himself, saying, “What do I have to be sad about? My life isn’t so bad.” But there was more to it than that, so much more (which we hope to explore as this site grows and becomes more than just a memorial to Mark).

Our last face-to-face exchanges with Mark occurred the night before he took his life. That night, he assured us he would finally commit to getting serious help, something with which he’d only dabbled. Although he had always been averse to the idea of taking medicine full time, he told my father he would give it a go. The medicine – an antidepressant designed to quiet the mind and calm the nerves – was ready for him to pick up the next day. Sadly, he never got it. For whatever reason, he’d made up his mind – probably during that last in a long string of sleepless nights – that he needed to take his own life. He must have imagined nothing would really fix him.”

Check out the blog yourself. They are asking for people to share their stories regarding suicide; if you have a personal testimony, consider sharing it there. I was just really moved by this blog and by the incredible strength of this family. Like I said, it’s so important to realize that the statistics are not just numbers. Stories like this remind us that those “numbers” are real people with real loved ones.

Click here to read the blog, The Mark Fund.

 

Blow up your comfort zone.

I fail at blogging. It has been way too damn long since I have posted anything substantial. My excuse is the same that it’s been in the last posts, so I don’t see the need to give it again. Just know that I have been thinking daily about posting something, but my brain has been void of any ideas. My husband has some time off work coming up, so my hope is that my “relationship advice” post will be up within the week.

Contrary to what my lack of posting says, this blog means a lot to me. It’s like my small little “YOPP!” to the world.

Those of us that live with mental illness, in one way or another, become accustomed to it. There’s no question in our minds that mental illness is an illness like any other. It’s just as unwanted, debilitating, and unprovoked, and requires medical care as many other diseases. However, stepping outside the circle of people you’ve surrounded yourself with that “get it” (as best as they can) can result in a giant slap across the face. This happened to me yesterday, while reading some very praised and very offensive material on the internet. It’s just a reminder that I’m not fighting a fought war. The hurtful ignorance surrounding mental illness is huge. Things that sound immensely fucked up to me sound like great advice or wisdom to others. I want to be apart of changing that, in any way that I can. I believe I can do something. It’s hard to not to feel small and insignificant in such an uphill battle. But I refuse to let that get to me; I’m only 21. I have so much life ahead of me to step out, speak up, share my story, and make people listen.

Obviously, five voices together are louder than one. And 50 is even louder. And 200. And 10,000. If you feel led in any way to speak out, do it. Don’t wait until it’s easier or more comfortable; it’s not going to happen. When I first opened up about having bipolar disorder, it was really awkward and uncomfortable for me. I had to force myself out my comfort zone in order to eventually become comfortable with it. Even now, I still sometimes struggle with it, but I’m continually fighting that shame. I won’t let uninformed, ignorant, and offensive opinions and ideas dictate how I treat myself. My point being, it’s not always easy to take that first step into talking about it. In fact, it can be terrifying. But it’s so important. Awareness will save lives. So many people don’t get the help that they so desperately need because they are ashamed. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. It’s the third leading cause of death in people ages 15-24. More than 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from mental illnesses and/or substance abuse. Untreated depression is the number one cause for suicide. I strongly believe that these numbers could drop significantly if we lived in a culture that treated mental illness like any other medical condition. Not as a weakness, an emotional issue, or something that can be cured by a change in thinking or self-help book. And I will spend my entire life fighting against those misconceptions. Millions of people in this country have been diagnosed with a mental illness, and even more love and care about people with mental illnesses. If everyone stepped out of their comfort zone and talked about it, we could change things.

Well, okay. I didn’t intend on saying any of that. This is why I love having a blog. I start writing a “sorry for sucking at blogging” post and it turns into a recruit message for stigma-stomping soldiers.

As I was rereading this, I realized that I said something that could be perceived as offensive, and is definitely incorrect. I was coming from my own perspective, and I inadvertently projected my experience on all people with a mental illness. Not cool at all; I sincerely apologize. I’m referring to my statement that those of us with a mental illness become accustomed to it, and that there is no question that it’s an illness like any other. That is not true, and in fact contradicts what I am saying and believe. There are many, many people suffering from depression or other mental illnesses that don’t understand what is wrong with them. That think they should be able to handle it on their own. That are so confused as to why they are suffering so greatly for seemingly no reason. It was completely inappropriate for me to say that. I really am sorry.